No Creas Más En Mis Promesas

Wise Words From a Wrathful Woman

 
By Marisol Rosa


Crippling, he pulls me down with the force a thousand men.
We played the course , lost, and attempted to make our amends.
Forgiveness gained? No. But What’s this world without hate.
After all it is hate that fuels us to accomplish something great.
“That same anger and loathing will excite you, invigorate you.
That same hate will empower you to do anything you want to do.
Don’t attempt to get rid of this power, use it, harness it, embrace it.
Let it morph into drive, ambition, let it be the fire that keeps you lit.”

What love means to me.

Love.

Hearts, kisses, cupid, hugs, xoxox, marriage, and children…. There are so many things that come to mind when I think of love but there are also alot of questions as well. What does love mean? Who feels love? What does it mean to love someone?

Love, to me, means infinite. Love means forever and everlasting. Have I ever loved someone that I feel “love” for today? Yes. Am I in love with that person today? No. This is the difference between loving someone and being “in love” with someone. I love my ex-boyfriend more than he and anyone could ever know. He means a lot to me and I would do just about anything for the kid. Am I in love with him? No. So, You ask me… “Well then Marisol what does being “in love” mean to you ? It means that everytime I’m with (insert pretend significant other), I still can’t stop thinking about (insert pretend significant other). It means that when (insert pretend significant other) is away from me I am no longer whole. It means when I kiss(insert pretend significant other) I still feel their lips against mine the rest of the day while I am without them. It means when they hug me I feel there embrace all day long, warming me, and comforting me. So you ask me what is loving some one? To say that you love someone is almost like getting married everytime you say it. When You say you love some one you are saying I am with him/her and only him/her and I don’t want to be with anyone else. Love is a committment and shouldnt be thrown around.

Your next question: Are you interested in anyone? Are you in Love with him/her? The answer to the first question is yes i am interested in someone. Am in love with them? No, we have a long way to go until that committment.

I am single. Do I want to be? I don’t really know.  I love being in a relationship but I don’t want to waste my time or get hurt anymore. I want my next relationship to be meaningful.

Thoughts Part I

I think I have gotten to know myself a lot more in the past month. I know more about myself now than I ever have my entire life. I learned about who I want to be and who I want to be with. I mean this about all my relationships not just boyfriends or girlfriends. I don’t have an orientation as of yet but I do not feel it is important to label one’s self either. We shouldn’t have to give someone a definitive answer on sexual orientations when there is not definite orientation. There is a lot of in betweens, I just happened to be one of them. Although I do feel a bit more of an inclination to be with a women.

   Being out of school and away from all the noise really helped out. I am really happy that I got to spend the weekend in Milford with my sister and my friend Veronica because it made me realize how important family is and how important my happiness is. These last couple months have been especially difficult for me and I have been doing things that haven’t really been making anything better but that’s all going to change. And I have already started the changes. I dropped out of the second semester of college for medical leave and to take a break from the stress that school brings. I have cut out all the negative influences in my life, I have finally settled in my brothers apartment and I am going job hunting tomorrow. I feel like things will just fall into place now.

  When I hung out with my friend and her family this past weekend it got me thinking about my family and how much I miss them. It also got me thinking about my heritage and how I don’t know much about it. When I was with her this weekend we listened to alot of Spanish music and everyone spoke spanish. I felt very at home and I felt like for the first time I belong somewhere. It was great. So I am going to try to learn spanish and to try to speak it fluently.

I came to another realization but that has to be on a different blog entry because this one is heavy and I need to share it with people that can appreciate what I am going to lay out……. to be continued in a few mins.  

ask me questions FoolSSSSS!!

ASK ME ANYTHING…… :)!!!